#homoerotic subtext that just ends up being homoerotic

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)

In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.

Jackieshauna

Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.

The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.

Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.

There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.

One word to describe them: Possession

Their best scene: Their last fight

"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."

“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”

“No…”

"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”

Taivan

Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.

Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.

In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.

It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.

One word to describe them: Devotion

Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)

“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”

“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”

“I love you, too.”

Lottienat

Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.

Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.

Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.

There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.

One word to describe them: Tension

Their best scene: The bathtub scene

"Good game, you fucking loser."

"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."

Lottielee

So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.

I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.

Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.

Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.

One word to describe them: Acceptance

Their best scene: The lake baptism

"I saw fire— a light."

"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."

Mistynat

This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.

At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.

While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.

It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!

One word to describe them: Unpredictable

Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke

"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"

Lottieshauna

Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.

Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.

Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.

One word to describe them: Cathartic

Their best scene: The beatdown

"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."

Travnat

There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.

When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.

Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.

One word to describe them: Trauma-bond

Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."

Jackienat

On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.

At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.

If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.

And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.

They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.

One word to describe them: Jealousy

Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones

"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."

—

And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).

[yuutawe]

TAKE A BITE INTO MY HEART﹕yuta okkotsu. . .

when death strikes down those you love most, a desperate binding vow proves to be the salvation.

ꖛ warnings!‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎(overall) nsfw + angst with happy ending(?)‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎major character death !‎ blood and death (mentions + slightly described) + a bit of gore (hearts) ! cannibalism ! ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎yandere appeals (?) ! mutual obsession ! jjk manga spoilers for the end of the shinjuku battle arc ! i basically threw every rule from the universe out of the window (this is not how binding vows work and im nearly sure of it, lol).

ꖛ about. * reader is gender-neutral. no anatomy specified + they/them pronouns and genderless nicknames.

ꖛ inspired by‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎so, i went back to watching hannibal. blame the homoerotic subtext in the cannibalistic series for this idea.

ꖛ author's note * repost because i can't see my post in the tags (sob). originally posted this in nov 28th.

ꖛ word count ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎1.410 (1.4k)

‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎[ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎NOT PROOFREAD!]

how do you undo what can never be undone? a person's comfort when someone dies is usually knowing that it was inevitable. this fate awaits us all in the end. soon, in a day or ninety years, we too will be hidden in large wooden boxes, burned and turned to ash, or left to rot in the darkest, most forgotten corner of the world. but death changes people. its touch is not meant for those who remain alive, but it changes them all the same.

as you changed when yuta died.

the flowers seem too alive when they arrive arranged in bouquets, tied with ribbons that are too vibrant. that color bothers your eyes. or maybe he seems too colorless. it's uncomfortable.

that body on the stretcher is uncomfortable. it's unfair and uncertain. when ieiri and the others left the room ── give them a moment of privacy. you know how important it is ──, whispering behind your back as if you were an abandoned stray animal. a homeless animal, with no place in the world. pitiful. like a creature abandoned on the side of a dirty road. everyone stops to look at the tragedy, but not to help. and how they mourn. they cry more than you.

poor things. they were so happy.

swear i don't know how it happened. one minute he was fine, and the next...

i didn't think he wouldn't make it. i didn't expect this.

i can barely imagine how they must be feeling. imagine seeing someone you love die in front of you, like this.

the sound of metal being punched takes you out of your thoughts. the idea of ​​people saying this now, with you right there with his dead body in front of you, just infuriates you so much that you punched the metal tray without even realizing it. simple as that. anger took over your muscles, and several sterilized tools were thrown on the floor. everything so fast. how can something happen so fast?

how did it all happen so fast?

he was fine. he said he was going to be fine. damn it, yuta promised he was going to stay. that he needed to fight, needed to help. your role was to stay here and give support to miss ieiri.

“asshole.” you can hear yourself mumble, your voice choked with tears. “you promised.”

when you touch his hand, searching for a familiar comfort, you find only an empty shell. normally, his long fingers would gently curl to hold yours. those warm hands would hold yours and yuta’s sweet voice would murmur it’s going to be okay, my love. we’ll make it, we always do.

lying son of a bitch. that’s what you want to scream, as the words mix with please, wake up. wake up and look at me. come back to me.

his body is so cold. not cold in yuta’s way ── warm hands and cold body, but cold like death. cold because the blood has stopped running through his veins, icy because his muscles don't move or contract anymore, his organs don't work.

just a few minutes. it's still surprisingly cool for a fresh body, but he's cold in a way that almost burns you. your aching heart can’t take this sight, no.

your body bends, and your lips touch his icy forehead. those closed eyes, those blue and depressed eyes need to open again. it's the only thing that's right. a dark whisper runs through your mind. he could come back, couldn't he? so many sorcerers have already cheated death. why did her scythe need to fall right on your boyfriend?

it wouldn't be like that. not if you're really here to change the course of history. a living and perfect heart beats in your chest — his, static and dead, is still red. it's still possible. it will be messy and completely crazy, but who's going to stop you?

who would try to execute you both? without the higher-ups, the sky's the limit and the new jujutsu society rises from the rubble of the old. and what golden age doesn't deserve its own champion? may he rise from the ashes and become the new champion of a sick society: recovering from the rot caused by the corruption of the old jurisdiction, yuta will overcome death and return to his place, by your side.

only by your side.

the blood is sticky, gooey. the bright red is so grotesque against yuta's pale skin that you wonder if perhaps god created blood to convince humans to kill less. it didn't work.

as the incision is made in his chest, you quickly put your fingers inside his body. a little searching, and with more effort, you hit his heart. great. with some difficulty, you cut a piece and brings it up to your mouth.

gulp. your swallowing is like the ringing of the death bell.

his blood stains your index and middle fingers — and greedily, you raise them to your lips and stain them with red. it's like lipstick. there's a certain romanticism in that.

the price to pay is not a debt that will be collected immediately. this could backfire very quickly, perhaps in a way that no one can stop. but if this gives him back to you—

the doorknob lowers, and someone grumbles behind the door. there's not much time. you don't have any more time. hey, did you lock the door? whoever is speaking, their voices seem like background noise as you lean in to kiss his cold lips.

may you share a life, may you share gifts and curses again. pure, mutual love overcomes every kind of mortal wound and lacerating incision.

you can almost feel a deep discouragement ── no answer. it didn't work? why? do you have to take a life to give another? it would make sense. bam. bam. open the door, they say. scared of what you might do to yourself.

a hand reaches up and grabs the back of your head, pushing you down once more. and yuta leans up, his lips wrapping around your bloody ones eagerly.

the salty tears run down your cheeks, and your hands let go of the scalpel to cup his face in your hands. it’s almost animalistic, desperate, as pure love invades you both.

he leans back, breathing heavily. oh, he is breathing. yuta okkotsu has returned from the dead thanks to you.

“what is going on— i can’t— my head hurts.”

the pain that hits you right after is almost unbearable. it's like being torn in half and then put back together in a completely different way.

he holds you, still trying to shoo away the ringing in his ears. “love— love, what’s wrong?” yuta asks, grabbing your hand to settle you. to push the pain away from your beating heart. 

the heart you two now share. two halves of your heart, shared to pump life through your bodies. you’re weakened, but he is alive. it was worth the price.

the door is broken down with a bang, but you can't make yourself care. your arms wrap around what used to be a corpse, but now is back to being your sweet, lovely boyfriend. he hugs your waist, his fingers grabbing at the flesh as if he wants to make sure you’re real. this is real.

“you’re alive, baby.” you sob, and he gently kisses your tears away. “it’s okay. you’re okay.”

and when the others enter the medical bay, all they see is yuta, who was dead less than a minute ago. he has a new scar on his chest, a vertical cut. the scalpel that was used to help you with the process has long been forgotten, thrown on the floor.

your chin rest at the top of his head, and it feels like you can finally breathe after drowning in grief for cold hours. — years, it’s what it felt like. he nuzzles into your warmth, stealing some for his own body.

his blood is flowing again, but he's still a little pale and the temperature is freezing in the medical bay. he rests his head against your shoulder, watching all the shocked and confused reactions from everyone else.

it's like walking straight into a sacrilege, something impossible, something that should never have happened. the breakdown of the natural order happened here, in this room. and yuta is alive.

alive, and staring at them with cold blue eyes for interrupting your moment.

© made by spiralryomen on tumblr. do not copy, repost, translate my works in this or any other site — inspirations allowed with credits.

[rambyol]

Analysis: The ‘Stab’ 🔪

With the Deadpool & Wolverine car 'fight' scene currently trending, I thought it would be a good chance to share how homoerotic subtext plays into the final fight scene between Bruce and Joker.

"He's penetrated him." - Bryan Fuller, in reference to Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham's fight in the Season 2 finale.

1) Positioning | Placement

In the above image, which takes place after Bruce resuscitates the Joker, we can see that Bruce is straddling Joker. They’re situated this way for a good few minutes, and this position is very intimate especially with Bruce’s hands positioned directly on Jokers chest, and those hands stay there right up until the end of the scene.

Now, one would argue that the only reason for the characters to be placed this way is because they were in the middle of a fight and being on top of an opponent gives you an advantage, and when Joker is unconscious, it makes sense for Bruce to resuscitate him from directly above which is the point from where he’ll be able to put more force into Jokers chest. And I agree that this makes sense for the fight choreography and scene.

However, it can’t be the only reason for why they’re positioned like that. Remember, once Joker gains consciousness and becomes fully aware of his surroundings, he makes no move to push, shove, or fight Bruce off. Perhaps he’s given up, since before he fell unconscious he freely invited Bruce to hurt him, and we will return to this later. Regardless of why he doesn’t move Bruce off of him, it’s evident through his lack of protest against Bruce above him that we can safely assume it, at the very least, that Joker doesn’t mind Bruce is sitting that way.

Consider this also, we recognise that from a combat perspective, if you manage to get on top of an opponent your main goal is to keep that position and how do you do that? You press against them, using virtually all of your body weight. So yes, despite the animation, Bruce isn’t just casually sat straddling the Joker here, they are pressed together, even after Joker wakes up.

2) The ‘Stab’, The Groan, & The Lingering

Have a look at the first image. Here, Bruce is admitting to the fact that he did have fun with John, a response we know that Joker wanted to hear because the alternative choice (where Bruce wishes they’d never met) leads Joker to respond with, “You say the cruelest things Bruce, But I know you don’t mean them.” So when you pick the ‘good’ option, you know for a fact that the feeling between them is mutual—

And that’s when we get to the ‘stab’.

Fullers quote (See top of page) was in reference to Hannibal; (I’m paraphrasing here) Where Hannibal Lecter stabbing Will Graham is meant to symbolise sexual penetration. I mean the term isn’t specifically sexual, he does literally penetrate him. But what does this have to do with Telltale Batjokes? Well, Will Graham getting stabbed is a turning point/transformative moment for the character, from that point forward there’s a change and something has shifted emotionally and mentally in the character. You’ll have to watch the show for yourself, but trust that it’s not necessarily a moment that’s shocking because a person was stabbed but shocking because the scene is so intimate.

Joker stabs Bruce after he hears what he wanted to, that Bruce did enjoy their time together. So when Joker ‘stabs’ him, it’s not a malicious act but a lustful one. Directly after, Joker says, “I hope you’ll look at that scar and remember those good times.” What else, could one put on anothers body, so that when the recipient looks at it, they’d be reminded of their ‘physical altercation’ with the other?

…well...a hickey. Or really any mark.

Still not convinced this has sexual undertones? Good, cause I’m not done.

When Bruce is stabbed, the scene shifts to an interesting angle. (See above) Joker is staring directly at Bruce as he stabs him, mainly to throw him off so it comes as a surprise but if you watch the scene, Bruce groans in pain for a prolonged period of time and we get a close up of his face where he turns his head and opens his mouth, which draws out the sound more. Groaning can be interpreted as a sound made out of pleasure, release of tension, etc.,

Throughout this series, we’ve seen him be stabbed, but he’s never had a reaction like this. It’s usually a short hiss of pain or a small groan. Here, it’s so prolonged and Bruce makes ZERO attempt to stop this, he doesn’t fight back or even grab for the knife, or Joker’s hand. In fact, in the clip, he briefly reaches towards Joker.

Remember when I said we’d return to Joker inviting Bruce to hit him earlier? Well here’s that:

3) Joker - Deriving pleasure from violence

There’s an emphasis on Joker observing Bruce’s pained expression, and with what we know about Joker being drawn to violence in addition to how he’s very sadistic as a villain, a quality that was always present in him when we recall how ‘excited’ he gets by violence or specifically, people fighting, being in pain, and so on.

It’s important to understand that even as John, he always had an affinity for violence. Especially when Bruce is a part of it; We see it at the Stack Deck where he records the fight between Bruce and Willy, The Pacts Hideout where he laughs gleefully at Bruce beating up the henchman (if you choose it), and most notably, recording the fight between Bruce and Catwoman!

Why is that important? Because Bruce & Catwoman are a binary opposition to John and Harley, and their fight scene at Riddler's hideout is perceived as flirtatious to John. At Café Triste, John admits that the fight between Bruce and Catwoman got his “pulse pounding”. In other words, it turned him on.

John is always caught off guard by physical affection, like when Harley kisses him on the cheek after she gets the phalanx key or hugs him after the interrogation with Bruce, despite wanting her attention. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, it’s that instead of physical affection, he arguably prefers physical violence. But only when he can observe/control it.

So my point is, during the 'stab', Joker is watching Bruce's reactions intently because it's arguably pleasurable for him. And Bruce who is at the very least somewhat aware that Joker likes seeing others in pain, makes no attempt to suppress his own but instead 'sit' in it for a moment until he physically can't sit up anymore.

Before I conclude this , I just wanted to mention how the game takes its time to focus on physical contact between Bruce and John on multiple occasions.

Honourable mentions:

A) Bridge Scene

B) Sad/Drunk John

C) Convincing Tiffany

D) The Pinky Swear

(Ending on the iconic one)

Ultimately, this fight scene isn't just one with sexual undertones but also an amalgamation of built up tension which was created over time through subtle physical contact between Bruce and John throughout the game which was finally released.

The End.

【 Any additional info or notes I add on to this will be indicated in pink text 】

[thepetitepiper]

For anyone who think that Garak x Bashir in Lower Decks is "fan-service," "sickening," or "ruining Star Trek", have you been paying attention?

Note this is not for those who aren't a fan of the couple or never saw it in DS9. This is for those who are actively complaining or find it "problematic".

To the complaints about fan service, have you SEEN Lower Decks? Lower Decks is filled with Easter eggs and fan service, but not just to appease or cater to the fans. It is evident that the show is made with love and understanding of Star Trek. Sure, it has a different tone and style, but the adoration of all things Star Trek is palpable. The amount of references made to various forms of Star Trek media, even lesser-known or less popular versions, is extensive and weaved humorously yet beautifully through the show.

"Fissure Quest" is another excellent example with Jolene's return as T'Pol, Alfre Woodard as Lily Sloane, more Curzon Dax, another EMH with a mobile emitter, promoted Harry Kim (Garrett Wang), etc. Also note that some of these actors had negative or frustrating experiences with aspects of their Star Trek journey (due to a previous show-runner) and I have such an appreciation for Lower Decks giving them, hopefully, a positive experience (similar to Jerry Ryan getting another opportunity to play 7 of 9 in Picard without Kate).

As for the complaint of making a fan favorite ship canon for the shippers. Did you not watch DS9? The actors have specifically stated they were playing up the flirtations and chemistry between the characters. Andrew J. Robinson played Garrat's first meeting with Bashir as "he was sexually attracted to this good-looking young Starfleet doctor." This ship was not just fans "seeing something that wasn't there." It was 100% there and intentional from both of the actors. Even one of the writers admitted that the character or Garak specifically should have come out of the closet after the episode "The Wire" but the writers never asked if they could (the assumption being that it would have been quickly shot down so they didn't try).

Rumor has it that the questionable relationships that both characters end up in were to distract from the obvious homoerotic subtext. Garak and Ziyal not only had little chemistry, the age gap was also rather wide and disconcerting for many fans along with Robinson himself. As for Bashir and Ezri, they were put together in the final season after Ezri's character was created to replace Jadzia. This relationship would never had happened if Terry Farrell (Jadzia Dax) hadn't left the show after season 6. She wanted to reduce her role on the show but Rick Berman denied her request leading to her letting the contract expire.

If you think this is "ruining Star Trek" or is Star Trek becoming "woke," you don't know Star Trek. It featured the first interracial kiss on television. Gene Roddenberry wanted to include gay characters but couldn't in TOS because he feared the series would be canceled. He intended for there to be representation in TNG but passed away. Berman took over and any form of LGBT representation became minimal or easily written off by those who would oppose it (non-binary but played by a woman, previously a heterosexual couple but now in female bodies, thematically queer episode, etc).

If you find it "sickening", I don't need to tell you why. You know why and so do we.

You don't have to like Star Trek: Lower Decks and its depiction of Garak x Bashir (from alternate universes, mind you). Not everyone likes the characters together and some prefer a friendship dynamic, there's nothing wrong with that. However, if you think that it is somehow catering to shippers or demonstrates how Star Trek has "become woke", you are simply wrong.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Was Javier Garcia "not bisexual enough" in ANF?

I feel like everyone reading the title of this essay is going to say, "Well, yeah? Obviously? Javi didn't show any interest in men outside of that one optional moment of flirting with Jesus and then he was confirmed bisexual by one of the writers after the season ended. If they wanted to make him bi, they should've done more with it because that's not enough."

That's a commonly expressed opinion no matter where you look, and it's not like it's unfounded, either.

On a surface level, I agree. While I understand the excitement of learning a character is canonically bi, in the case of Javier Garcia it still feels like celebrating crumbs tossed to us by Telltale after they had their cake and ate it, too. They snuck in some bisexual representation at the last minute for queer audiences without it being explicit so the homophobes wouldn't throw a tantrum.

Stuff like that happens. Sometimes the representation is subtle or implied in the subtext. Or, the queerness is condensed into something digestible and sanitized for straight audiences. Or, it's stated after the fact with little to no actual evidence to support it in canon.

Hell, even if it is obvious, like with Clementine being bisexual in TFS, you still have biphobes who will die on the hill of denial. Even now, in the year 2024, we have people insisting "Clem being bi came out of nowhere! They should've showed it in earlier seasons if they wanted it to make sense. I'm not homophobic but here's my essay PROVING that violentine is bad and forced and that Clem isn't bi!" Or, on the other extreme, "Clementine is a lesbian to me, bisexuality isn't real :)"

But I've already talked about Clementine and what her bisexuality means to me. I want to talk about Javier now.

He's an interesting case, both in the way his queerness was handled and portrayed in the game, and how audiences received it... as in, a lot of people said, "That's great and all, but is it really representation when it's not actually present? It's not enough."

That. That right there: "It's not enough." That's what I want to break down and examine.

Is Javier Garcia not valid as a queer character because he didn't reach this concept of "enough" in the eyes of the player? But what would have been "enough" then? Do people really understand what they're asking for when they discuss what they think Telltale should've done? Does it actually matter if Javier is queer when it comes to the plot and his journey as the protagonist, and if it doesn't matter, is that okay?

Should we just accept these crumbs sprinkled in our hands?

I want to make it clear that I'm but one bisexual examining a bisexual character and doing an analysis. I've climbed out of my bog to write this because I want to discuss Javier and the writing as it pertains to his queerness, or lack thereof. I'm also aware that I'm not providing any irrefutable, concrete evidence here one way or the other; I'm speculating about Javier through a queer lens. I encourage any other bi, pan, or other queer person to add to these discussion points, whether in agreement or not.

Prior to TFS, the queer representation in TWDG wasn't great...

Though the games do get progressively gayer as the seasons go on. And some even get to live! Progress!

S1 had... uh, none? Wait, is that right? ...Yeah, no, I'm tuning my gay radio and it isn't picking up any signals, Captain. Nothing gay in these waters.

S2 had Walter and Matthew, who both died shortly after being introduced. There's some homoerotic undertones between Luke and Nick but nothing was ever confirmed. Also, they both died, so... not great.

The Michonne mini-series had Jonas and Zachary, but Zachary will always die no matter what. Jonas can die, too, but it's determinant. Paige was confirmed to be queer by the writers, though. Uh, progress? Kind of? Not really, it's never talked about and you only pick up on her feelings for Sam if you squint and pay close attention. But hey, at least she got to live!

Then, in ANF we have Javier, our playable protagonist, and Paul "Jesus" Monroe, a gay character who also showed up in the comics and TV show. Would'ja look at that, they both got to live! I should also mention nothing was ever confirmed about Ava but... c'mon, y'know? Captain, there's a faint signal on my radio; when you know, you know. Except she died, to, so... still not great.

Then came TFS, who really said, "Screw you, here's all the gay!"

They gave us bisexual Clementine with both of her romance routes. Violet, Minerva, James, mentions of his past boyfriend, Charlie... Aasim was planned to be bisexual and I don't see why we can't reclaim that for him, and one day I'll crawl out of my bog to write my analysis on the queer-coding/subtext of Louis' character because if I read "lmao Louis is such a Straight" one more time, I'm going to let the gators take a bite out of me just so that I can feel something other than irritation for once.

Sigh. It's so hard being a "Louis ain't straight" truther out here, so few understand.

My plights aside, there's no avoiding the queerness of TFS. Even if your Clementine doesn't romance anyone, or romances Louis, you can't avoid the fact that Violet and Minerva were girlfriends at one point. It's determinant if James will tell you about Charlie, but that doesn't change the fact that James is gay.

But it runs deeper than that. This is a story about these troubled youth who were abandoned by their families and teachers, the ones who were supposed to love and help them, because "something was wrong with them, they did something bad... they need fixing."

These young people have to fight against an oppressive group of adults looking to steal their autonomy, change them, mold them into what's expected to survive. Their identities don't matter to the raiders. All the raiders care about is erasing such identities so that they fall in line and obey, and if they don't comply, they die... or worse.

Yes, it's a story about Clementine and AJ finally finding a home, but no matter how you play, it's also a narrative steeped in queer themes and subtext. You can tell that the people who made it not only cared about these things and wanted them weaved throughout the story, but that some of them were queer themselves.

But where does that leave us with Javier?

With everything TFS did, it's easy to look back at ANF with a critical eye and pinpoint its flaws in every aspect. While I don't believe it's the worst game Telltale ever made [I mean, Minecraft Story Mode exists], in my opinion, it's the messiest game in the main series. It's not bad, but I'd much rather play S1 or TFS.

For all the criticism it received, most players did like Javier as the playable protagonist. Well, they did once they got over the fact that Clementine wouldn't be taking on that role again, and was instead relegated to only being playable in flashbacks.

Javi's personality can vary depending on player choices, but for the most part, he's a charismatic man who loves his family. He used to be a professional baseball player before he was booted from the league for gambling. He can be cocky and sarcastic, and it usually lands him in trouble. He tends to cope and deflect using humor. He has a past of being irresponsible and selfish; he wasn't even there when his father died, despite knowing he was dying of cancer. His relationship with David is complicated, only made messier if he and Kate end up together. He's trying his best... for the most part. Javi even ends up being a father figure to Gabe and Mariana after they all thought David was dead, and he's very open about his grief following Mariana's death.

But given everything we learn about him while playing ANF, how do we know Javi isn't straight? After all, his main love interest is Kate, a woman. He also has opportunities to flirt with Eleanor, another woman. He doesn't show any signs of being attracted to any of the men who are around... until Paul "Jesus" Monroe.

At the end of ep5, Javi and Jesus have a conversation where one of the dialogue options is, "I like you, Jesus." Granted, that doesn't have to mean "like-like;" you can say you like someone without any romantic intentions. Plus, Jesus IS a cool character. Players who picked that option likely weren't thinking of it in a romantic sense.

It's the way that Jesus responds to this option, though: a flirtatious smile, lidded eyes, the deep dip of his voice.

Javier: I gotta admit, man. You're a fucking badass! Jesus: You're a real charmer... You know that? Through and through.

It's not difficult to see Jesus is being flirtatious, and Javi sees it, too. How does he react?

Forgive me, but I'm about to over-analyze this six-second gif. I love his reaction so much. That subtle jump of his shoulders as if a jolt just ran through his gut at the way Jesus lowers his voice. Surprised, and then the movement of the brows, the slide of the eyes, and the little upturn of the mouth says to me "Oh… oh." Caught off guard, perhaps a little bashful.

Option 1: Javier: Oh, you know what they say. Takes one to know one. Jesus: That they do. Option 2: Javier: Are you really sure you don't want to stay? There's room. Jesus: Oh, uh... I'm sure there is, but... we got other people depending on us, Javi. Just the way it is. Option 3: Javier: Meant to tell you... That, uh, armor you got is great. Jesus: Oh... Oh, uh... Hmm... Well, uh... Thanks, um... It gets the job done.

Javi knows what Jesus is getting at regardless of your choice. He understands this is flirtatious, but is startled since he likely didn't consider that Jesus likes men, too. We the audience have a better chance at knowing if, especially those familiar with the character from the comics and the TV show. Javi wouldn't because why would he? It's not like Jesus is obvious and flaunting with the fact that he's gay.

What's funny about that is, given our topic of discussion, we could also argue that Jesus wasn't gay enough, couldn't we? If we're going to pick on Javier for not being more open about his sexuality, then it's only fair that we pick on other characters, no? Did Jesus need to be gayer? Would that improve ANF?

In fact, now that I think about, was James gay enough in TFS? Was one moment where he talks about his boyfriend, a scene that's determinant so not every player got it, enough? What about Minerva? We know she and Violet were girlfriends before Marlon traded her away, that's information that's unavoidable, but did she actually reach this apparent high standard of "enough" in the eyes of the audience?

Are we entitled to unequivocal evidence of queerness, and the heaping amount we deem necessary, otherwise it's not good enough and shouldn't be bothered with at all? Are more casual displays of queerness bad?

I can already hear people jumping to defend James and Minerva, and likely Jesus, against this because "it's totally different!"

Sure. Javier's situation is different from James, Jesus, and Minerva's respective situations. James actually uses the word boyfriend and he keeps a picture of him and Charlie in his pocket. Jesus appears in The Walking Dead universe outside of the game with more evidence of queerness. Minerva's past relationship with Violet is made clear even when you don't pursue Violet's route, not to mention the underlying metaphor of conversion with her being changed/brainwashed/traumatized by the raiders to be just like them.

Javier is different because that scene with Jesus is the only in-game evidence of his queerness, right? Then he had to be confirmed as bisexual by one of the writers once ANF ended.

Surely, they could've brought up the fact that Javier's bi earlier, right? Made mentions of a past boyfriend, or had a flashback about Javi coming out to his family? Why only let him flirt with Kate and Eleanor? Why wasn't there an option to flirt with Tripp, or some other male character? What about a darker turn where David didn't accept Javi for it? David's portrayed as an antagonist, anyway, why not toss a little homophobia into the mix? Why not reveal it if Javi rejects Kate? What if Kate was so hurt by the rejection that she asked him, "It's true, David was right. It's because you like men, isn't it?"

It feels like they decided at the last minute to just toss it in, like someone walked into Telltale one day and said, "Y'all, I just thought of the funniest thing- Javi should be bi so that we can make jokes about him swinging both ways!" And then everyone clapped.

Here's the deal: Something about this sits differently with me, and that's probably thanks to one of ANF's writers, Adam Esquenazi Douglas.

He's the one that confirmed Javier as bisexual.

Adam had his hand in writing for 4/5 episodes, and he said he wrote the scene where Javi can flirt back with Jesus, but it's that last line of his: "After all, they always say write what you know."

I don't know how many of you who are reading this are writers, or creators in general, but I assume many of you are. It doesn't matter if you write fanfiction, create fanart, write essay posts or headcanons or whatever. I have a firm belief that creative people pour so much of themselves into their work that, if given enough material and studied enough, you can get a glimpse of their soul. Even if done unintentionally, we project ourselves into these works; the characters, themes, conclusions, everything.

Am I suggesting that Adam was secretly a bisexual mastermind who threaded queerness throughout the entirety of ANF and we were all too blind to see it? No, and if he did, then he needs to step forward and tell me so that I can study ANF frame by frame to compile the secret evidence into a new essay.

...Actually, on second thought, maybe don't do that to me, Adam.

My point is, yes, it's true that it's likely Javi being bi was added in at the last minute... but can we really dismiss Javier as "not bisexual enough" when Adam had influence over Javi's character throughout the whole season? And I ask again: is the casual queerness of Javier bad?

Time to speculate and answer some of those questions about Javier

Let's talk about Kate for a minute. She is Javier's main love interest, whether you choose to accept her feelings or not, so she can give us a good point of reference for what Javi looks for in a partner.

Kate and Javi share a similar sense of humor that bounces well between the two. Kate wants to travel, Javi's well traveled from his time as a profession baseball player. They both exist in this space of "we're kind of the family screw up." Granted, Javi's more in it than Kate is, but you can see parts of her that come through where she's a little rebellious, a little not good enough [ironically]. They both feel trapped in their situations; Kate in her marriage, Javi in a slow downward spiral of not knowing what to do with himself now that he's booted from his career. They have complicated relationships with David, and together, they've raised Gabe and Mariana through the years after they believed David was dead.

They're a lot alike in many ways, so this is hardly an opposites attract type of romance.

What's interesting is if you then look at Jesus, he has some similar qualities to Kate; a sense of humor even when things are looking bleak, they to help and protect people, are willing to throw themselves in danger to save Richmond. Then if you add Eleanor, the other person Javi has some flirtatious dialogue with, you can apply those qualities to her, as well... though the big difference with her is Eleanor sells the group out because she wants to stay.

With the little information we have, we can speculate on Javi's preferences. He prefers someone more similar to him. I know, I know, everyone loves a good opposites attract tale, they're so different but similar at their cores, they fill in each other's gaps, yada yada... except not everyone is like that, obviously.

My working theory is that a partner who would act as the opposite of Javi would be someone who acts like David... and does Javi really want to date someone like his brother? Though that then opens up a whole can of worms since if Javi and Kate are so similar, and David married Kate... this isn't an essay about David, but that's certainly a thing to chew on.

With that, I suppose we can answer the question, "But if Javi's bi, why didn't he flirt with any men prior to Jesus?"

What men?

No, seriously, where are all these men Javi's supposed to flirt with? Are they hiding? I know you hid them in the game, Adam, where are they?

Wait, do you mean Tripp?

I don't want to step on the toes of any Javi/Tripp shippers out there, but let's actually think about this. When we meet Tripp, Javi's just been separated from his family. He was knocked out and tied up by these assholes who caught him siphoning their gas, then this teenager cut down a tree which resulted in him getting into a car accident. Said teenager then tried to rob him before agreeing to escort him back to his family but first, they gotta go to Prescott. I wouldn't say Javier's in the flirtatious mood by the time he meets Tripp.

But he can flirt with Eleanor, right?

So, why not Tripp?

Because Tripp is a man and he has feelings for Eleanor. That's made quite clear from ep1. He told Javi that he and Eleanor had a thing once. Sure, Javi could still harmlessly flirt with him, but have we stopped to consider that Javi isn't as confident with openly flirting with men like he is women? After all, who initiated the actual flirting between him and Jesus in ep5? That would be Jesus, and it happens after the danger is over and Javi doesn't have to worry about dying for a little bit.

Listen, I understand that Tripp is big. He's built like the lumberjack of our dreams. He has a nice beard. He's not afraid to talk about his feelings even when he fumbles all over them. He's strong and caring and brave. He could easily toss me over his shoulder like I'm a sack of flour and then throw me across the room... what's not to love? Surely, if Javi actually liked men, he would've made a move on Tripp at some point.

Except, would he? Is Tripp even Javi's type? Because I'm pressing X to doubt.

Also, why does he need to?

This is where I question why some people think Javi has to flirt with a bunch of men to "prove" he's bisexual? I'm sorry, do you believe there's a quota all bisexuals have to meet to maintain their membership card? You have to flirt with this many genders a month otherwise they'll revoke your premium status?

Sometimes I wonder if people unintentionally lean into the "promiscuous bisexual" stereotype, or if they do genuinely believe that bisexuals have to express interest in multiple people of different genders in order to prove themselves queer enough.

Did we ever stop to think that Javi's just not like that? An open flirt, I mean. Yeah he's charismatic and funny and all that, but Kate, Eleanor, and Jesus all initiate the romantic dialogue with him first; Kate tells him she needs to get laid hint hint, Eleanor calls him pretty, and Jesus calls him a real charmer.

Tripp never gives him any indication that he's interested or that he even likes men, so why would Javi make a move?

As for any other man? Again, what men? Max? Dr. Lingard? Clint? Conrad? And forget adding a new character to ANF; it could barely handle the characters it already had and you want to add a new one just for Javier? Let's face it, Tripp was the best option and that's just it, he wasn't an option.

"But my Javi WOULD flirt with Tripp and the game didn't give me the option!"

And there it is.

Javier isn't your OC

ANF isn't a massive RPG where starting a new game brings you to a character creation menu, and you get to decide every factor about the character you want to play.

ANF is an episodic, point-and-click Telltale game, and Javier isn't your OC. Like with Lee and Clementine, there are some things you just don't get a say in, and I think that gets to the player sometimes.

When I sit down to play a Dragon Age game, I go into it knowing that my character is mine, I get to decide who they are and who they're interested in. DA as an RPG has the capacity to give me a bunch of romantic options both in and out of my party that shape who my character is.

When I sit down to play TWDG, I go into it knowing that while I have my own Lee, Clementine, and Javi, I didn't create them but I am influencing who they become. I know it's a Telltale game, and that means limitations.

These games have always had the "illusion of choice" criticism chucked at them from the beginning. Usually that pertains to the choices you make that affect the overall story, but ultimately don't matter in the end.

For example, it doesn't matter if you save Carley or Doug because no matter what, they both die. My counter-argument for this has always been that the choice does matter in the way that it shapes your playable character, and how if affects the characters around you. A Lee who saved Doug over Carley had reasons for making that choice, and in turn, has a different experience going forward than a player who chose to save Carley.

Does it matter who shoots Duck in the woods after he's bitten? Or if he's left to turn? No matter what, he's going to die, so is that the illusion of choice? I don't believe so, because it does matter. It affects player experience.

That being said, I believe players who become invested in this series, especially those who engage in fandom, develop a warped sense of what should've been, forgetting the nature of a Telltale game. I know this because that's the foundation my blog was built on.

Javier Garcia isn't a blank slate. You didn't create him. He had a life before the start of the game, he has a personality that you didn't choose for him, and there are things you have no control over. If anything, we act as an influence over the TWDG playable protagonists. Most every option given is something that could reasonably play into their character. I say "most" because we all remember that [GLASS HIM] moment where Javi tells David that Kate's going to leave him and we were all like "THAT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT THAT OPTION WAS!" and it felt out of character.

Anyway, you don't dictate who these characters are but you get sway over the direction they take.

Javi can be a real prick to everyone, but that plays into the selfish and entitled part established with his character from the beginning. You can play him as genuine, trying to step up and do better for the sake of his family, another thing brought up from the very beginning.

"But why couldn't I make Javi flirt with Trip!?"

Because it's not an option. I don't know what else to tell you. I don't know what you want me to tell you.

ANF is a Telltale game that centers about Javier Garcia. It's a story about a man who, prior to the outbreak, screwed up and was wasting his life away. His relationship to his family sat upon a rocky foundation, crumbled by his own hands. He wasn't even there when his father died. We follow this man through a story of a family trying to survive, we watch him reunite with his brother and risk losing everything that kept him grounded and going. He experiences grief and anger and sorrow and happiness. In the end, he comes out of it all a different man, for better or worse.

That man just also happened to be bisexual.

And that's the thing: This isn't a story about Javier's sexuality. He isn't going around making moves on these elusive men that mastermind Adam Esquenazi Douglas maybe hid in the game somewhere because the game isn't about Javi liking men.

It's a game about his complicated relationships with Kate and David made messy by Kate being in love with him, and whether or not Javi loves her, too.

It's about Javi helping Clementine back on her path after she's been alone and bitter for so long. It's about them fighting to take down a group of people doing really shitty things to other communities. It's about losing Mariana and avenging her by killing the man who shot her. It's about Gabe feeling conflicted about his father, a man he always wanted to be just like, after realizing that David isn't this idealized figure Gabe thought he was.

It's about the promise Javi made to his father.

The fact that Javi happens to be bi doesn't matter in the grand scheme of the plot. It's just something that's apart of who he is, but because it's a small detail we feel was added in at the last minute, we decide it's not enough.

But what if it is enough? Do we even truly know what this concept of "enough" is?

Throughout writing this piece, I've found myself in a loop.

I'm happy Javier is bisexual. -> But should I be? -> We shouldn't settle for crumbs, we deserve more explicit representation. -> But is there really anything wrong with casual representation where the story doesn't focus on sexuality? It doesn't take away from other stories that do. -> I'm happy Javier is bisexual. -> But should I be?

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Queer stories are important and our voices need to be heard. We need stories that don't shy away from experiences that are hard to stomach. We need queer stories told by queer people. We need stories that are unapologetic, that aren't afraid to face their audience with pride. Stories that don't say "yeah but we have to bend a little to the bigots to maximize our profits." We need these stories that inspire us, hurt us, make us cry and piss us off. We need queer stories with happy endings that give us hope, that push us to seek a better future so that new generations of queer people don't feel alone in their struggles. We need queer stories that make us feel heard, seen.

Do stories with casual representation of queer characters fit in there somewhere, too? I think they do, because TFS is a casual representation story.

Clementine is bi and it isn't a big deal; she never has a moment where she's openly questioning, she doesn't have this big coming-out scene, there's no tears shed or anything. She isn't stomping around with her bi pride flag and announcing who she is with a heartwarming speech.

She just is.

Same thing with Violet. She never comes out to Clementine as a lesbian, no one ever calls her that, she just is.

Clementine's romance with Violet is treated just as it is with Louis, sincere and normal. No one questions her or Violet because to the Ericson crew, it is normal. They knew Violet and Minerva were together before but no one has any quips about it, positive or negative.

If you romance Violet but then save Louis, he makes mention that Clementine and Violet are close so why save him? But Louis, for as much as people side eye him for making jokes and never taking anything seriously, doesn't say anything more. He could've made a joke, "Ah, you like girls, I guess I never stood a chance then, haha." He doesn't, because it's not something out of the ordinary for him and it's not something he feels the need to pry over.

If you go fishing with Violet and Brody, you find the carved heart with Violet and Minerva's initials and AJ asks what it means. Clementine can tell him they were girlfriends, and AJ doesn't go, "Oh, that's weird," or "Huh, I didn't know girls could like each other." He just goes, "Oh. Love." and moves on because he grew up differently, it isn't a big deal to.

Even the antagonists aren't out here spewing homophobia, at least that I recall.

The Ericson crew are a generation that understands and accepts. Where Clementine could end up with either Louis or Violet and no one will raise a brow, or even feel compelled to signal their alliance like, "Ah, yes, I am accepting of you and your choice, good for you, I am an ally, I'm making this about me."

The Final Season of TWDG is great, and it proves that the writers at Telltale at the time wanted to explore these topics earnestly. It wasn't pandering or trying to score "woke points" with the LGBTQ+ community like some bigots will insist. If it were, it would've been way more obvious about it, I think.

Casual queer stories or serious stories that tackle the hardships of being gay?

Like the bisexual I am, I like both and everything in between.

Clementine didn't need to prove her bisexuality as "enough" in TFS, but since the circumstances were different, did Javier?

I'm going to take the potentially controversial road and say no. I understand why we wish they did more, and I understand why people have frustrations over creators dropping that information without actually having to commit in their work... but I also have some appreciation for the casual reveal of Javi being bi, regardless of why it was dropped.

Javier is valid. He didn't need to "prove" anything.

In a way, I believe we do have some control over the portrayal of Javier, and that's by engaging in fandom. If you were disappointed that Javi's queerness wasn't explored in game, then find a fic that does explore that side of him, or write your own. Engage with other people and their work about it. Comment on fanart, fics, and thought pieces. Write brain dumps. Find other Javi/Tripp shippers and prove me wrong, prove that Tripp is indeed Javi's type and have fun while doing it.

Telltale gave us the crumbs, so let that inspire us to bake a cake.

I don't think this concept of "not enough" is the most productive way we could go about discussing topics like this. Not everyone has the same level or standard, and every work is a unique case. But I think it is fun and productive to share ideas of what we would've done differently so that it may inspire us.

ANF, for all of its flaws, could be a tool used to teach us where our priorities are in storytelling, and influence what we want to create ourselves.

In conclusion: Javier Garcia is enough to me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to crawl back to my bog and begin research into the meaning and metaphors behind walkers and their existence.

But before that, I want to give a big thank you to @pi-creates for making the Javi gif used in this essay, as well as for listening to all my bullshit during the writing process.

[uncanny-dedp00l]

The Homoerotic Imagery of the Honda Odyssey Fight in the film Deadpool and Wolverine: a comprehensive essay

The famous Honda Odyssey scene. It has gone sensational throughout fandom spaces for being a passionate fight scene between the movie's leads. Starting with an emotional monologue from Wolverine (filled with what can be taken as some projection, but that is another topic), and ending with a somewhat peace formed between the two. Of course, to most casual movie-goers watching, it was probably just another fight scene. However, to the trained fandom eye, it is much more.

The main thing that makes it more coded towards being a sex scene than merely an angry fight between buddies is the music. A good majority of the tracks in this film are love songs, and this one is no exception. Originally written for the film adaptation of *Grease*, it's about a girl transforming herself to win her love back and wanting him to "shape up" for her. This goes along with the film plot of Wolverine needing to "shape up" to help Deadpool save his world.

The other thing that leans for the sex allegory is the poses and positioning. Most obviously is where they are bent over the front of the car though the windshield, directly on top of each other. Also though is the angle where Deadpool is bent back out through the back windshield and snaps his arm back into place. There's lots of instances of being on top of each other and "exchanging bodily fluids" (in the form off blood). Somehow even more intense than being bent over the car is the small moment where Wolverine gives a small smile as blood splashes onto his face, clearly enjoying himself.

There are many who could say this is all coincidence or just queerbaiting jokes, but there are so many instances in this film of romantic subtext that at which point does it just become the main text of the film? While that is debate for another day, there is more than enough evidence for the Honda Odyssey fight to have been something more.

Finally, while the dialogue itself makes jokes about it, it's much deeper than that. The implications had to be there when writing, as there is no way this much homoeroticism can be entirely on accident. The extreme uses of sex tropes for the scene is the main reason, specifically the closing shot of the van rocking as blood sprays onto the sign saying "coexist." Deadpool and Wolverine quite certainly "coexisted" inside that car for sure. Additionally, at the very end of the film when introducing Blind Al to Dogpool, Deadpool says: "like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, in a bed of gonorrhea and didn't stop til the sun came up," which sounds a bit like what happened in the Odyssey.

[fate-mental-illness]

Top 5 gayest Emil Sinclair moments

1. Kissing Demian on the lips, that whole last scene of them together was drenched in homoerotic subtext, with their faces being super close to each other and Demian whispering to him (the no homo by saying it was from frau Eva is so funny too cuz in the end he still was receptive asf to be kissed by Demian)

2. Seeing Demian shirtless, boxing and had to call him handsome n talk abt his manly face and thirst over his muscles like ok king

3. Hated dreaming about Kromer abusing him but when it was Demian dominating him he suddenly found it hot

4. Years of pining for Demian (he straight up says 'how i long for Demian') but lowkey being ghosted by him cuz kickstarting spiritual journey or smtn

5. Paints a portrait that represents many things for him, one of them being AN IDEAL LOVER, casually says oh it looks like Demian! Lord Jesus...

HONORARY MENTION: sniffing Demians neck and enjoying the scent

Also the way hes super horny for Frau Eva is rlly funny to me cuz he admits many times she looks A LOT like Demian, so the milf looks like the man u have been pining for since childhood but shes the gender society says its acceptable for you to like...inch resting, also the fact every woman hes attracted to is refered as BOYISH AND MASCULINE (Tho i dont wanna brush off Sinclairs attraction to women, to me he is clearly bisexual, i just found it rlly interesting theres so many layers to this story)

[romanarose]

The Bikeriders as a metaphor for bisexuality

Now I ain't saying this was intentional because I'm pretty sure it's not but this is how I read the struggle between Johnny and Kathy for Benny just feels like Benny's internal struggle between homosexuality and heteosexuality, how neither of it fits him so he was always walking that line.

For the record Im speaking in terms of binary gender because this is just a simple movie theory. I am well aware of other genders but this is just how I see it.

Spoilers below

Kathy tried to get him to leave, he wouln't do it. It's like he wouldn't let go of that same/sex attraction, the queerness, the subversive side of him.

Johnny never tried to get him to leave Kathy for him, but his pull comes in the two times he tried to get Benny to take over the club. Benny refused, because that full commitment to the club, the lifestyle, would be rejecting the other side of him.

He didn't want to choose. he wanted to just be himself. I think his happiness came in accepting that.

Benny didnt give up riding because Kathy made him. He gave it up because Johnny was dead and that broke him. He was ready to settle down. Benny didn't choose "being straight", I think in his crying, his finally crying he and Kathy new what Johnny was to him and I think Benny accepted who he was. Then he was happy with Kathy, because he did love her. I think she was wrong that he didn't miss it. I think he did. But I think he misses it in a sense that we as people will always long for the past.

Another way I see it is that yes, he's happy. Yes he has a good life. But Maybe he was always going to end up with Kathy as the "settling down". Johnny didn't equal settling down. I think a lot of times, especially back then, homosexuality was viewed as a phase, like the trope of college girls going through a "gay phase" or concepts of homoerotic military men secluded from women. That its something you do for a while then you "grow out of it." But thats not how it really works. I stand by that Benny loves Kathy and is happy at the end.

He smiles, which is rare for his character. He's smiling when Kathy isn't looking, so he's not performing for anyone.

But I think when you look at it in the context of the time, she was the option if he wanted to settle down. That, as bisexual people, maybe you have some crazy times in college but then you find someone in a heterosexual relationship and settle and try to put that behind you. It doesn't mean he's not happy, as bisexual people in straightpassing relationships are happy. It just means, when the motercycle sounds echo for him, he still thinks about the past. the what if.

And thats just a human thing to do.

I saw The Bikeriders on Saturday and then twice, yes twice today (sunday). I was bawling at the end the last two times when the bisexual metaphore theory came to me. I read Benny as bi right away.

Johnny is said to have gotten his inspiration from Marlon Brando. Bando has talked about being bisexual. Another famous name and face of Brando's era was James Dean. Although Dean was more a car guy in the end, he was deffinetly into motercycles. Dean's sexuality is speculated but many close friends say he was bisexual.

I think it would be almost impossible not to have homoerotic subtext with this sort of thing if the movie was true to inspirations of the era. I don't know how you can watch it and think benny and Johnny dont want each other.

Personally, I don't think Johnny was bi, I think he was gay. I think because of how little emphasis on his wife there was, how she never quite seemed to get him, not in the way Benny got him, I think he was gay. I think he married and had kids because thats what you did.

Anyway all this to say I fucking love this movie. At first watch I wasn't a fan of Austin butlers performance but now I get it. Wow. I get it

I know its not anyone intention making the movie for it to be a metaphore for bisexuality but I can just see it see clearly.

This came out during pride month for a reason

[catras-breakup-song]

Soo hope your not bothered by this ask, if you are you can ignore it

Your take on catra "sexually harassing" adora in the dance between them scene by the antis?

Also your take on the antis saying catra used hurtful mind control on adora (in episode: white out) just like prime's own mind control abilities?

hang on for a bit while i process...

WHAT IN THE WORLD ???

i can at least understand the controversial argument that catra was abusive because... well, she was. she perpetuated the cycle (that only goes up to S2 but it gets the point across). as adora said, she hurt a lot of people before becoming a better person and improving her relationships.

but i cannot for the life of myself fucking get behind sexual assault accusations... are they serious?! that just comes across as lesbophobia at such a point. the only moment i can assume they're talking about is this one:

and that is adora's leg placement, her own doing. adora's body was supported from falling flat on the floor not because she lifted her leg up, but because catra's arms were held around her back. literally just search up on google "prom dip pose" and under the images section you'll find the partner kicking their leg up like that. alternatively, if adora hadn't done that and simply leaned back without lifting anything, the posture still would've been the same.

not to mention, adora later does practically the same thing anyway:

i hate how people pretend like there wasn't mutual desire between catradora as if their impulsive fights and angry tussles weren't homoerotic as hell, and not just on catra's end being the one to initiate them. the audience is hooked on the coding within their subtext for a damn good reason. for the record, someone wrote a super long essay about how their sexual desire for each other was written, including this exact scene from princess prom.

EDIT: this post is perfect specifically for adora’s role in their song-and-dance there!

as for the other part about the first ones' tech virus, i covered it briefly on another blog after an anti commented on my post, which i'd rather not link so i'll paraphrase and add on:

it's strange that this moment was focused on specifically when it was so brief and didn't seem to affect adora herself (seeing as the second the sword was detached from her hand she detransitioned) aside from passing out for a little while but otherwise being totally fine, let alone in the long run. even then though, i genuinely wonder if it was more from the freezing cold considering she didn't bring any winter wear due to planning on staying as she-ra the entire time, or even exhaustion from chasing after targets ─ then again though, i wouldn't be surprised if it was just the corruption since catra didn't have any trouble recovering from being half-erased and splitting reality apart herself. i would imagine regardless, she-ra is much more immune to physical weaknesses & obstacles, compared to the wielder. the point is, either way, it clearly wasn't traumatizing the way prime's chip was shown to affect catra even many episodes after STC. for example, she continued to rub the back of her neck in "an ill wind", which was five episodes after.

the disk, however, never needed to be brought up again, but if it had been, it'd be unfair to say long-lasting consequences were entirely to blame on catra when the exact same thing had happened in dryll where she hadn't been present. the only real difference was that catra, knowing what could happen (not would obviously, as she hadn't planned to be put in the spotlight like that), fully intended to destroy she-ra unless she could weaponize it (but notably not adora in her default state), which i can't defend her for. it was a malicious choice, but it's reasonable to say it wasn't out-of-order while they were active enemies. at least she ended up realizing she was paying the price by being nearly killed, as she had been so used to adora going easy on her before the events of the portal-opening took place.

[tallysgreatestfan-art]

Disabled4Disabled ships spotlight for Disability Pride Month: Tally Youngblood and Shay from Scott Westerfelds Uglies Series.

As much as I love them and as much as their stories helped me accept my own neurodivergence, I was hesitant to include them here and can only recommend Uglies with a huge caveat.

First reason: Unlike the other ships I include in this, Tally/Shay is not canon, it is just the relationship the series focuses on the most and has a fairly strong subtext.

Second reason: While the way the series portrays both Tally and Shays increasingly intense, for the lack of better words, general neurodiversity, and especially Tallys choice at the end, was groundbreaking for this time period and is even now much braver than what most novels would do – the way the series portrays their self-harming and Tallys and her boyfriend Zanes eating disorders is not good to say it friendly.

I don’t think the whole series is irredeemable, because everything else about it is just so good, but it is something you have to be aware of going in.

The issue lies not so much in the characters glorifying both as ways to escape their dystopian brainwashing, dystopias are famous for unreliable narrators, but that the disconnect between them doing this and the narrative and the author knowing that this is not a healthy way to deal with this is not better established.

It is also described not just fairly explicit, but also in a way that made readers who actually dealt with these issues feel alienated, since the self-harm is first described in a fairly antagonistic cult-like clique, and Tally and Zanes clique amicably mock them for loosing weight and becoming bony and haggard.

Why was this still so healing for me as a queer autistic woman with bipolar disorder?

Close to every book says that being different is okay and you should not conform to societal ideals. Uglies actually shows how insidious societal expectations are, how you still believe them even when they harm you, and how much it hurts to be lonely and different. With Uglies, you can believe it when it says being different (neurodivergent, queer) is okay, because it feels like it understands how hard it is.

In the first book, their neurodivergence is only hinted at, if anything. Tally doesn’t has many friends and all of them already were made into the older societal caste aka Pretties. She is lonely, and she desperately wants to be like them too, normal, how she should be. She meets Shay, who doesn’t fit in either, but takes the opposite route, rebelling against the system and being just so angry. It feels like the two extremes neurodivergent people can deal with their differences.

Their friendship made me feel so seen. It was deep and close, but also so jealous and it becomes increasingly more toxic and complex, as their dystopian system pushes them against each other again and again. It felt like all these messed up, failed female friendships I had. Even with how homoerotic it is, but both of them are too trapped in their other relationships and their past to ever act on it.

In the second book, without spoilering too much, their neurodivergent behaviors become so much more clear and also self-destructive due to the golden-cage like environment they find themselves in.

And in the third book, it is explicitly mentioned that the way their brains work is very different from the norm in a mental illness way. Even if, spoilers for the rest of this paragraph, their neurodivergence is artificially altered to make them more effective (read: self-destructive) super soldiers. As their allies come up with a way to undo this, Shay choses to do it. But Tally refuses. This blew my mind as a teen. That you could actually see your neurodivergence as a part of yourself. Even if it’s seen as bad, or destructive, or inconvenient for yourself and others.

There also is a third disabled character, Tallys boyfriend Zane, who already from the first time we meet him has an eating disorder, and also later acquires brain damage that causes him problems with motor skills. Tally at this point is horrible ableist to him about the physical disability, being programmed to by her dystopian society, but both her and the narrative also very firmly know that this is bigoted and something she needs to overcome. It is uncomfortable and harrowing and tragic to watch, but IMO it is respectful even if the characters are not.

Ultimately, it depends on what you search for if this would be a good read for you. Are you searching for accurate, healing self-harm and eating disorder representation? Then this is absolutely the wrong book. Are you searching for a touching, thought-provoking story about beauty culture, societal pressure and human nature, told through the toxic friendship between two teenage girls in a dystopian society? Then I can only recommend it.

A movie of the first book will come out 13.September this year on Netflix, hope it’s as good as the book. Sadly, in the book racially ambiguous Tally is white in it though, but Shay stays a WOC.

[laurelwen]

Where did the idea of monsterfucker Alex come from??😭😭 How does this idea emerge in one’s mind?? And why am I weirdly invested??

This is definitely one of the best asks I've ever gotten, so thank you for that!

Sorry, this is going to be very rambling, so I hope it makes sense. The idea really emerged while a friend (@gali-in-distress) and I were developing a number of AU scenarios that ended up having Nigel as a "creature" of some sort with Alex as the human who is invariably fascinated with him. We kept returning to that pattern because it just seems to fit so well with their existing dynamic. Canon Alex is clearly fascinated and drawn in by Nigel, and we can all agree that there is a strong homoerotic subtext to their relationship.

This is a Gothic story at its heart, and the Gothic has a great deal of interaction with Queer narratives. The monster in Gothic stories is a representation of the things about ourselves that we are afraid of, the things society wants to exile and destroy, forces that resist control, and often those monsters are very literally stand-ins for transgressive sexualities, including queerness. Heroes wrestle with their own complex reactions to these monstrous embodiments of the things society has taught them to fear and loathe, but to which they are drawn by the compelling recognition of their own shadow selves. We may try to push those things away, but they always return because they are a part of us. So many queer viewers/readers love Gothic horror for this very reason. We can relate to the feeling of being ostracized and hunted down for the things our own society deems "monstrous" - so rather than fearing the monster, we identify with it.

In my mind, this is also the case with Alex. He is drawn to Nigel for his Otherness, his transgression against norms and refusal to live within the rules set forth by society--Alex recognizes truths about himself in Nigel. He's extremely hemmed in by a rigid structure in his own life, so it's only natural that he is interested in those who shake off that structure and who offer him ways of breaking free himself. That Otherness and transgression can so easily be represented by literal monsters, and that leads me to the conclusion that Alex would absolutely be a monsterfucker given the right setting. Add in the fact that he loves to "push the limits" chasing thrills and adrenaline highs, and you have another reason he'd enjoy the mix of fear and fascination you'd get from being a monsterfucker. The added bonus is that in fucking the monster, you yourself become monstrous, meaning it's another way to reject heteronormative oppression and fully embrace your own queerness in defiance of social norms.

As for why you're weirdly invested? I think it's probably because it just rings true to the character. You Get It. *high five*

[ripplestitchskein]

Sorry for yet another, “Listen guys, it could be so much worse, my fandom related trauma has made me appreciate scraps. My personal bar is literally on the floor” posts but I am genuinely happy with the MHA ending. I get why people are not though. Audiences want finality. They want commitment. They want closure and resolution.

But considering the genre of MHA, the common tropes of the medium, the cultural and capitalistic concerns at play… MHA did a lot. Shonen Jump was never going to go for a canonically queer ship in their biggest property my guys, they just weren’t. So bearing that in mind, that it was never going to be explicit, your alternatives are ambiguity, punishment by the narrative via permanent character death, or canon surprise heterosexuality ala Naruto.

I’m gonna take ambiguous “fic can make this better” endings over permanent character death or like a Deathly Hallows epilogue any day. I’m certainly going to take it over “Yeah they were hella gay the whole time but here is the wife they barely had any interaction with and their 2.5 children that prove they fucked at least once.” Like yeah obviously explicit canon scenes are always gonna be better and more satisfying but the absence of them in any one direction, the ambiguity that is left to individual interpretation, especially in this genre of manga, is honestly a huge win for me personally. That HK went out of his way to not canonize Izuku/Ochako and to highlight Bakugou’s contribution especially and have him be the hand that brings Deku back to being a hero speaks very loudly. HK is not unaware of the popularity of the ship and a creator who has thier hands tied by thier distributor making the decision to not explicitly kill it IS a win. He could have very easily done the “I assure you this fruity little gremlin is straight. Look at his girlfriend! She has huge tits! Yes he sure does love women! Yessiree, ignore all the homoerotic subtext and the like yearning and weird focus on hands, and like being willing to literally die for his also very straight counterpart.”

The move when a content distributor wants to squash a ship is doubling down not “What if we left it kinda vague but heavily implied it?”

And it is such a good ambiguity. Enough detail to world build but not to preclude headcanons. And the fic possibilities jfc.

Like, the angst potential of Izuku thinking he got left behind because Bakugou and everyone else was working to make his dreams a reality will launch a thousand fics. Bakugou working tirelessly to make that dream a reality? Keeping himself away from Izuku to raise himself in the ranks and financially to buy this dream, no distractions but missing his partner. You can feast for years on an 8 year jump with patchy communication. and what comes after, the awkward relearning each other and catching up, the will they won’t they now that they are working together again. Omg.

I’m just saying the “And everyone did a cool thing related to their character arcs but the specifics of their interpersonal relationships is up to you to fill in, The End” finale is loads better than the alternatives imo and really suited the story overall.

[marble-running]

okay hopefully this will not break your inbox this time so long as i don't send 30 images again

Yuri #1 - Anhane

very yuriful. their first (indirect) meeting is when kohane sees an performing, and wishes she could be as confident and passionate as her. this is actually what unlocks their sekai (vbs has some fate shit going on long story) and they get isekai'd into it although they don't remember that or meeting each other. kohane gets lost and ends up in an's dad's cafe some time later, and thinks an is really cool, but she runs out as soon as an starts talking to her. she comes back a week later because an's performance left such an impression on her, and they talk for a bit, then sing together, and an decides kohane is the one for her, so they become partners. i won't spoil the entire main story for you lol so i'll leave it there.

anyway over the course of the game (not in much depth) kohane starts to pick up skill very quickly. she's very naturally talented, moreso than an. once kohane starts getting mentored, an begins to worry that kohane will get too good for her, and leave her behind as a partner. kohane is unaware of all this and herself has some concerns that she's not as confident or impressive as An, though this isn't as much of a problem as an's abandonment issues. anyway they do work things out in the event the vampire yuri card is from.

for some other stuff. kohane is implied lesbian, she's very attracted to an in the second wedding event, and shows attraction to other girls too (mainly haruka). an is also implied lesbian, and her card story for the anhane/minoharu date night event suggests that she's like. legitimately dating kohane. a later card story suggests this too. haruka says that this is the first time an has ever acted like this with anyone, and the way an's parents act around kohane is almost as if she's an's girlfriend.

Yuri #2 - Minoharu

^ moment that is very important to me they're actually my favourite ship in the game. haruka is the one who inspired minori to be an idol, and she has been a huge fan of her for years. however when she meets haruka in person only to learn she quit being an idol, she decides she has to bring back the haruka she's always looked up to. haruka helps out minori with some training and advice here and there, but still doesn't go back to being an idol. it's only once minori finds out what caused haruka to quit, resolves it, and then puts on a show for her does she convince her to become an idol again. basically minori is able to remind her of why she loves performing so much, she just needed to see this person who she impacted so is so endlessless positive and full of love and passion. minori also reminds haruka of the person she looked up to and got her to be an idol but that's important later and i could go on about it for a long time but i think your askbox has a word limit.

minori is also like. very explicitly in love with haruka. not just like a celebrity crush like she's legit crushing on haruka really badly. there's just SO MUCH of it please check the tvtropes homoerotic subtext page for proseka i spent ages on the minoharu folder when i was 16. oh yeah also implied lesbian, though i tend to just assume its canon for her (and an/kohane/saki). it's implied that haruka reciprocates minori's crush to some degree but she's a bit dense sometimes.

Yuri #3 - Shizuai

first off i am still not over this card. okay so airi and shizuku first met when shizuku was new to the industry. shizuku was upset that she was a burden to the other girls in her unit due to being an amateur who didn't even intend to become an idol (some friends signed her up without her knowledge but she attended the auditions and passed). she was starting to cry, so airi gave her a towel to clean up with. this towel is shizuku's bonus item for gameplay purposes.

however, airi also harboured some jealousy at shizuku over time, since shizuku kept getting promoted and was incredibly popular and got lots of opportunities, whilst she essentially became a tv star instead of an idol. when shizuku quits because she wasn't enjoying being an idol anymore, airi lashes out at her. however this is resolved pretty quickly, and they both decide to become idols again for eah other, since they are each others' idol.

they're like. very clearly in love with each other. airi is attracted to shizuku and bought all the magazines she did photoshoots in and compares shizuku to a swan etc etc but shizuku says some REALLY gay shit sometimes like she has this whole monologue about airi's hands in airi's 3rd event and the card above is her returning a "magic spell" gesture airi did for her years ago. also i showed you the romeo and cinderella 3dmv so you get the idea.

Yuri #4 - Emunene

they are very important to me. emu is super friendly and affectionate with just about everyone. nene is her total opposite - shy and has a sharp tongue. there's multiple times early game however where rui (#1 emunene supporter) points out how nene has started acting differently around emu, she's smiling and laughing more, and is the only person she won't leave on read. in emu's first event nene wants to cheer emu up when she's sad, specifically saying that she wants to see emu's smile again. they become a lot closer over the course of the game, and nene's standoffish attitude around emu and slight annoyance at her going on outings with her completely disappear. they regularly go to each others' houses to watch movies or play video games or go shopping together now. they have an event where they enter a gaming contest together which is where this card is from. nene is also the first one to comfort emu when wxs is at risk of breaking up.

in emu's third event the vocaloids list off emu's favourite things as all being activities she does with emu, with luka going as far as to say that emu loves nene. nene gets flustered and tells them they're just regular activities for them. anyway they got "very good friends"d in the official english translation so you know they're gay. also it's loosely implied that they both like girls. they are very cute and very gay and emu clings onto nene in one area conversation to the point nene is blushing and then they share parfaits together and also got one together ON WHITE DAY.

yuri #5 - polyneed

DO NOT SEPARATE. theyre so devoted to each other it's actually sickening. okay so. they've been friends since elementary school, and then decide to form a band because ichika wanted to play some miku songs. when they're walking home one day there's a meteor shower, and decide to keep playing in the band and spending time together forever. ichika has like a baby gay realisation that she wants to be with them forever here and it's what causes their sekai to form. this yearning shit gets serious. anyway as they get older saki is moved to a faraway hospital, shiho cuts them off because she doesn't want her reputation affecting them, and honami cuts them off because she doesn't want to be bullied. when saki gets out of hospital she decides to get the band back together, and this is the plot of the main story.

anyway post main story the gay yearning shit gets serious. so shiho wants to go pro but the rest are pretty casual about the band. shiho is offered to play for a different group, but leoneed are willing to uproot their lives to stay with shiho. shiho also realises that leoneed is the only band for her. the gacha for that event is called 4=1. the event song is called one and starts as 3/4 time but switches to 4/4 time. the card above is from this set. it's all very domestic and happy leoneed life together forever. oh and then in the ichika event that just ran on en last month they reaffirm their promise under the stars. its shakespearean the star motifs here. okay so their recent world link event was insane. i need to waffle. they have this magic flying subway train in their sekai now. and it won't open. but then it opens for shiho but she won't board it until the others are there. because she only wants to go for her dreams if they're by her side. and then at the end of the event they all ride the train together. what the hell.

okay so saki's like. very implied lesbian. there's several indicators that she's into girls. tbh everyone in this game likes the same gender it's a japanese idol mobage they're all gay. fanservice or something. anyway is there a polycule implied in the funny miku taptap game.... i dunno? considering the industry, no, considering honami's self intro where she "sounds like she's confessing to them" and causes them all to blush, maybe. maybe the leoneed writers room is bad at writing friendship and thinks this is "girls hanging out" when it's actually "sapphic yearning off the scale". honami is also ship teased with another girl but i'm not going to put that in this already. ahem. very long ask.

Yuri #6 - Mizuena

okay now here's complex yuri. kanamafu is more yuri than them but alas i am not as invested in them and this ask is also a free pass for me to talk about my favourite prsk ships (minus the two yaois) and brainwash you with my agenda. okay so i've already explained the deal with mizuki and ena on that massive google doc i sent you. so despite their teasing, mizuki really does appreciate ena, and she thinks she's talented and values her art. while kanade is actually the one who saw true worth in ena and her art, mizuki still is supportive of ena.

ena->mizuki is about trust. ena sees that something is troubling mizuki. there's something on mizuki's mind and they won't spit it out. ena wants to know, she's not the most patient person alive, but she decides not to pressure mizuki and tells her she'll wait as long as she has to. but although ena puts her full trust in mizuki, they lie to her and tell her that they'll tell her eventually when they don't plan on it at all, still scared of what will happen when ena knows, and scared of losing ena (and n25), who they didn't even realise viewed them as a true friend until she said it in that moment. mizuki's second event still tears me up to this day it's definitely worth the read and i'm very excited for the anticipated mizuki comes out event in october.

oh yeah also it's implied they both like girls. you already know the deal with mizuki i used they/them here for the most part just out of clarity.

anyway those are my top 6 project sekai yuris. not in order i have all of them ranked equally except minoharu because some ships are more equal than others. if you have any other questions about project sekai shipping please ask me in my askbox or dms i need you to get invested in this game enough so i can ramble and you can comprehend it lmao

[noahsbookhoard]

📚November 2024 Book Review📚

November was a bit less busy that October and varies from jawdropping to very meh.

Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone (Ernest Cunningham #1) by Benjamin Stevenson

That one is definitely in the jawdropping category. A great murder mystery in which you have all the keys and the author is right there telling you to "go ahead and solve it". I didn't. I had fun anyway. Just as darkly funny as the title announces.

Wintersmith (Discworld #34) by Terry Pratchett

I think sofar it is my favorite Tifanny Aching story: she is growing up and that shows, she is more responsible, she owns up to what she does wrong, she is still whip smart and I never get tired of the Nac Mac Feegle.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

This count as a novel read since I completed Dracula Daily like everyone on nov 8. The audio drama version by Bloody FM production is so good and a great plus because some of Van Helsing lecture at John are really just too long.

Une belle vie by Virginie Grimaldi

I don't know why but I ended up reading 3 Grimaldi in as many months, maybe because they are rather easy to read, funny and generally have a hopeful vives even when dealing with heavy themes. This one is the story of two estranged sister who reconnect by coming for one last vacation in their grand mother house before they sell it. They rebuilt their relationship and draw back childhood memories, some good and some bad. The part where I got confused is that the author tries to tackle a lot of subjects (bipolarity, depression, domestic violence and cancer are the ones I remember but there are many) instead of just one are two. It was a lot to handle at times but a good read nonetheless.

The Restaurang at the End of the Universe (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy #2) by Douglas Adams

Book 2 is just as crazy as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but I found it a little more coherent, as in I knew approximately where we were going (a restaurant) and the convoluted adventure that leads to and from it made more sense to me than in book 1. I'm really excited for the rest of the series.

L'amant by Marguerite Duras

I admit, I don't see the appeal. The writing is good but not incredibly so. The story itself is rambling, I guess it was intentional but it makes it harder to follow. The relationship between the author as a girl and her lover at least 10 years older is very disturbing when judge by modern standards and I was a little put off by the casual way she talks about her brother's death. I must have missed the literary qualities here but I might try another of her novel later on.

La Dame du manoir de Wildfell Hall (The Tenant of Wildfell Hall) by Anne Brontë

I felt so much fucking rage reading this novel! It has some of the most heinous male characters I have ever read and even the main love interest has a hell of a journey to stop being an entitled jealous violent piece of shit. That said it is very well written otherwise I would have either given up or thrown the whole thing through the window. Helen, the main character is strong minded and brave, I loved her from the start and grew even warmer. I strongly recommend it.

Tw for domestic abuse and alcoholism.

The Sword Catcher (Chronicles of Castelane #1) by Cassandra Clare

This was an indulgence: I said I wanted to read less traditional medieval heroic fantasy and it falls right into it. It is good tho! I liked the concept of the Sword Catcher and the Ragpicker King amd especially how the two characters interact. I really hope the relationship between Connor and Kel is explored more too in the future books because the homoerotic subtext deserve to be more text than that!

Somewhere Beyond the Sea (Cerulean #2) T J Klune

I loved The House in the Cerulean Sea so I was excited for the sequel, but a little weary too. I was afraid not to find what made book 1 so dear to me. But there it was! The kids and their shenanigans, Arthur and Linus being their lovey dovey selves, Zoey and Helen are all the village had kept its newly opened mind from the end of book 1 and that was very comforting. The story is hard, the hate and fear they face hits a little too close. But they overcome it and everything ends well which is just what I wanted to read.

The kids calling Arthur and Linus Dad and Papa was extremely cute. I really loved David and how he bonded with Lucy. Not a comfort book as much as the first one but I had a great time reading it

My Roommate is a Vampire by Jenna Levine

I stumbled upon this one because I watched this video of a person who read all the Rylo fanfic turned novels out of morbid curiosity and this one seemed intriguing enough for me to try, open mind and all that. I was promised some whimsy, a shopping montage and a heist.

Well there's comedy (an kumquats for some reason) The shopping montage wasn't much of a montage, they just went and tried t-shirts on. But the end was just stupid: female lead went ahead with a plan she deems stupid and unlikely to work, us reader with even the tiniest bit of social media experience know that the plan is stupid and can't possibly work. And it works. Just genuinely first degree work. When you go with that in a comedy setting at least make your stupid plan work in a funny way, WWDITS style! Some bits are tedious, I understand your 400 year old don't know how to use Instagram but I do and I don't need a full chapter of tutorial (same chapter as my newest fight with my nemesis, the possessiveness trope, you don't get to storm off and brood just cause she posted bikini pics dude!)

Overall it was quite fun if you don't think to much about it.

When Among Crows by Veronica Roth

I listen to the audio book and the accents were *chef kiss*: it is a novella with slavic folklore creatures in an modern setting and I wasn't expecting to love it so much!! It's a story about monsters and family and duty. Angsty, a bit gay, the characters relationship work very well. It will be a reread in the future.Greatest of news for me today! I discovered by googling the spelling of characters names that a second book is coming this year!

[ufonaut]

Green Lantern (1990) #55 || Underworld Unleashed: Abyss - Hell's Sentinel (1995) #1

I've often written about Alan Scott's Golden Age gaycoding, how he reads as gay from his earliest appearances, how his 1940s appearances are a treasure trove of subtext -- but there's no denying Alan's Sentinel era plays an equally pivotal role in the portrayal of his (once implied, now confirmed) sexuality over the course of his many years of publication.

The 1990s were a decade of change for Alan Scott. With his storyline in Green Lantern Corps Quarterly (1993), he'd regained his youth but consequently found himself rejected by his friends in the JSA, by his wife (it's here that Molly would start questioning the reality of their marriage), and brimming with anger. He'd soon take up the moniker of Sentinel to differentiate himself from the last Green Lantern still standing and he'd end up haunted by the deaths of his friends during Zero Hour: Crisis in Time (1994), soon fighting accusations of not being a 'real man' for having outlived them (as per Showcase 1995 #1).

Anger was the main driving force behind Sentinel but Alan Scott had always been an angry man, the most remarkable aspect of this era was a sudden sense of boldness -- an almost transgressive one, at that -- that Alan had never carried himself with before. In many ways, being young again had brought back his confidence (many might recall the "young man's body with a young man's needs" line from the aforementioned GLCQ arc) but it had also brought back the homoeroticism of those very early stories with a much sharper, much more tangible edge in what was in many ways a more permissive landscape. Alan's interactions with the personification of Chaos (shown as male but dressed in drag) in The Book of Fate (1997) #2 are a good example of the way Alan had carried himself throughout the '90s.

However, and more to the point of this little segue, the gaycoding of the Sentinel era is fundamentally legitimized by one simple fact: it wasn't just gay audiences who were catching on to what was going on with Alan Scott (and had been for a long time), it was gay creators as well.

The above images are undoubtedly homoerotic, the fact that they were drawn by gay artists Craig Hamilton and Phil Jimenez respectively only underlines this undeniable aspect. Both in and out of universe, it's a striking portrayal of gay sexuality that is simply not seen in today's sanitized gay stories -- no matter how explicit of a confirmation we get nowadays, it's nothing close to what had gone unsaid a few decades ago.

[13eyond13]

23 + 25 for GriffGuts!

Omg thank you @ofdemonsandangels !! I'm v excited to get Berserk asks ♥︎

I'm not sure if the request is for the individual characters or just the ship or both, so I'm going to cover all my bases and answer for ALL THREE.

GUTS + favourite picture of them:

First thing that came to mind was his sword + moon pose! I just feel v fond of and oddly protective of and affectionate of him when I look at it. I just love when he's being all pensieve and secretly sentimental about stuff by himself...

GRIFFITH + favourite picture of them:

Hmmm. There's just something about the way Griffith's drawn in the later part of the Golden Age that I like the most. Def the biggest fan of his design when he looks like this:

His scary blazing eyes during the second swordfight in the snow really stuck in my head, and are some of the first panels I picture whenever I'm picturing Griffy!

GRIFFGUTS + favourite picture of them:

This fanart is pretty fantastic... if I didn't already know the pairing and saw it I'd probably be like damn, this looks compelling, who is that? 👀

https://www.tumblr.com/13eyond13/742518174586748928?source=share

BUT also so is this fanart (got those scary blazing Griffith eyes down perfect, and also ahhh the wings and the scratches on Guts' back!!)

--

GUTS + what was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I first started reading Berserk at the end of 2023 without knowing much of anything about it other than it had a character named Guts with a huge sword, that some fans shipped him with a character named Griffith, and I had heard that the art style was apparently pretty amazing and crazy as well. I fully did not expect to like Guts that much or relate to him that much going into things, and assumed he'd be a super boring edgy hyper-violent macho 80s meathead muscleman without much personality. And upon reading the first few chapters I certainly wasn't feeling extremely fond of him yet (especially during stuff like the very opening scene where he's banging some demon lady and then killing her, which once you actually get to know him is like one of the most odd and out-of-character things for him to do, and I think shows Miura hadn't really figured Guts as a character out totally yet). It actually didn't take THAT long for me to realize that there was more to him than that and to warm up to him a lot, though. Even partway through the Black Swordsman Arc I feel he started intriguing me with some of the more unexpected stuff he was doing and the mysterious hints about whatever had taken place in his past that was currently haunting him so much. And certainly by the time you start seeing his childhood memories and the Golden Age and getting to know why he is the way he is I was feeling very attached to him and invested in him emotionally! He's by far my fave of the bunch, and he just feels very much like a living breathing being to me in canon much of the time. One of my all-time fave characters now.

GRIFFITH + what was your first impression of this character? How about now?

I knew basically nothing about Griffith going into things initially. He came off pretty goofy as Femto to me initially, so at the start of the Golden Age I remember just being like, omg so how does this pretty femboy guy become that weird bitchy Batman in the labyrinth that Guts ends up hating so much? 😅 I also did not expect him to be so outright gay for Guts as he is in the manga, and had previously assumed the fandom's shipping of these two was probably based mostly on your typical barely there homoerotic subtext or whatever. Very surprised to find there was just so much blatantly going on there in the text and that it was basically directly discussed by the characters and almost written like a straight-up romance, and all of this stuff seemed very intentional and deliberate on Miura's part to me too. I remember especially being impressed by how bold Griffith was about just straight-up announcing his interest in/attraction to Guts to his face (and how much Guts actually seemed to be into him back too, even if he's a bit slower and more shy and furtive about it – which to me is much more unusual than having a queer-coded villain guy expressing obsessive interest in the male protagonist – he usually isn't also equally interested back like that!). I think Griffith is at his most interesting to me during those early parts when he's being very upfront about his emotions with other characters and a bit vulnerable like that, especially because we spend so much of the rest of the story only ever seeing him from a very guarded and emotionally closed-off dead-inside sort of distance as a character. He maybe isn't my favourite because I don't relate to his personality that much, and sometimes his ethereal otherworldliness and mysteriousness made it harder for him to feel as real to me as the others do – Guts and Casca often felt a bit more human and down-to-earth and easier to emotionally attach myself to and to know things about for sure, so I found myself caring about those two the most whenever I was reading it. And then of course there was a long stretch of the story there where Griffith genuinely shocked and appalled me with what he did to everyone (I had zero spoilers for what was actually going to happen during the Eclipse and did not expect it to be anything nearly as bad as what happened lol). At times I really loathed him and got super angry at him as a character, but I also appreciated that he drew such strong emotional reactions from me and was always making the most interesting things in the plot that I actually care about happen, too. Whenever I was super mad at him I would be furious every time he showed up and did literally anything onscreen, yet also would get so frustrated and bored and antsy whenever he would disappear for hundreds of chapters at a time, too 😅 I feel like that made it much easier to understand why he drove Guts so crazy, because I was being driven a bit crazy by him too... Can't live with him and can't live without him! I remember finding Guts the most interesting character in canon when I was actually reading the story, but I find that Griffith is the most fun one to think and talk and speculate about with the other people in the fandom after the fact. I appreciate him a lot now as an interesting character and an antagonist, but he isn't exactly a beloved blorbo to me the way Guts is so much as he is the guy I like to rotate on a spit in my mind and listen to other fans talk about and to contemplate the most, maybe?

GRIFFGUTS + what was your first impression of this ship? How about now?

All I knew is that a few of my DN mutuals who I think have good taste liked the ship, which made me mildly interested to see what I thought about it myself going in, though I didn't really expect to be that into it myself. Then I was taken aback by how strongly the story seemed to be actually based around the relationship between these two and how actually gay it was between them both, haha. I was conflicted a bit about it and whether or not I actually cared to ship it as I was reading it, particularly because of the grosser stuff that Griffith does during the Eclipse really putting me off him for a good chunk of time. But I think after I finished the manga and sat chewing on it a bit longer I kept wondering how the story might have changed if those two had been able to communicate a little better with each other and make some different choices and have some important realizations pre-Eclipse. It's one of my absolute fave tropes as well, the codependent besties that maybe actually both secretly have feelings for each other that then turn into enemies, when you can also see that maybe they probably actually could've easily turned into lovers instead. And I just feel like at the end of the day even though it's clearly never going to be a happily ever after or whatever at this point that I think they both still kinda love each other too, whether or not they admit it or whether anybody approves lol. It's one of those ships that to me is just like, why do I ship them? IDK bro, because they ship themselves... ask THEM why they're still into each other even now and even despite everything... I feel like I'm just simply sitting here listening to what they're saying and picking up what they're putting down lol

[character ask meme]